Here’s an interesting observation I’ve had with the growth in my own life. It’s often only in retrospect we realize any progress we’ve made in an area. At the time, we tend not to see objectively how we’re doing.
I recorded a video last week and I ended up looking through similar videos in the past that I had loaded. When I compared my face in the videos I was shocked.
The photo on the left was from a video I made a year ago. The video on the right was last week. But here’s the crazy part: I didn’t think I looked heavy in the video a year ago. In hindsight, that was the month I started prioritizing my health differently as I didn’t feel good in my own skin. But looking back on that screenshot is startling to me now.
When I stepped out of full-time ministry I thought I was healthy too. But I wasn’t. I was tired, overwhelmed, and ultimately in a role I now see isn’t a good fit for me. I spent so much of my energy on things that were draining the life out of me. I’ve spent the better part of this year doing some deep soul-searching about this. I continue to believe Jesus has given me certain gifts for the benefit of the church. But I’ve also realized I’m not the type of pastor most people are looking for. And I’m at peace with this. I don’t need to be that to contribute nor do I feel Jesus asking me to transform into it.
Being healthy for me means leaning into roles that allow me to fully use my gifts and perspectives for the local church while also minimizing any sideways energy I bring when I’m in the wrong seat. I love being a guest preacher for a number of different churches in multiple states. It continues to give me hope for what the church can be and allows me to do what I love most. I also love hosting conversations through Communion Wine Co. for people who are on all sorts of different journeys in their faith.
Here’s the thing, I wouldn’t have known this without being a Lead Pastor for three years. And I wouldn’t have known it without the perspective this year has provided me with the chance to step away from it. I would likely have spent the rest of my life trying to make it work through the ways that felt normal.
Which brings us back to the question: where do you need to grow? The answer is that you probably can’t objectively answer that question on your own. It may take a change (even a traumatic one) for you to see it clearly. Which should cause us to lean in a bit when life feels chaotic. This is my encouragement for you today because I’m guessing that SOMETHING in your life feels chaotic right now. Could it be that’s where new growth is coming?
I mean… we just got a puppy after having to put our dog of seventeen years to sleep and admittedly not being “dog people.” And this is the joy and adventure of life. There is literally no cap to your growth until you die. You are under no obligation to be the same person you were yesterday. So bring on the chaos. Who knows how we’ll look back on it later?I'm guessing that SOMETHING in your life feels chaotic right now. Could it be that's where new growth is coming? Click To Tweet