Here’s an interesting observation I’ve had with the growth in my own life. It’s often only in retrospect we realize any progress we’ve made in an area. At the time, we tend not to see objectively how we’re doing.

I recorded a video last week and I ended up looking through similar videos in the past that I had loaded. When I compared my face in the videos I was shocked.

Michelle and I now have all five kids at full-day school. It has definitely marked a new season of life for us as we have our daytime back for the first time in more than twelve years. We’ve gone to coffee and lunch and begun to explore how we can best use this time.

One of the realizations is that we can actually attend a gym together. This is something we’ve tried over the years but schedules and kids made it impossible. We signed up for our local Orange Theory and have gone to three classes so far this week. Which coincidentally reminds me of this hilarious video:

I remember hearing business professor Adam Grant talking about success back in 2015. He said that “Success is less like Battleship (sinking other ships), and is more like the rising tide that lifts all boats.” That’s such a beautiful image, and one I’d argue is even more needed today.

I grew up playing the game battleship and found it an early opportunity to harness my emerging type-8 enneagram personality. There’s such satisfaction in taking down an opponent and feeling successful as a result. What’s not to love about the game description?

“Feel the authentic thrill of the battle when you wage war on the high seas in the game of Battleship… It’s a full-out assault. Position your ships strategically to survive the relentless strikes. Then target your opponent’s ships and wipe them out.”

As I got older, I realized this is a cheap view of success. If someone else has to lose or be torn down for me to thrive, something is wrong with me (and likely the system around us). Yet that is often how we view others. It’s also why we may not feel super excited by the success of those closest to us. It feels like a loss to us vicariously. We assume boats have to sink for the game to be played.

I’ve had a lot of reflection time recently. After finding out it would cost us $7k to rent a minivan for our Oregon trip we decided I would drive from Arizona and Michelle and the kids would fly. That decision meant I drove away from our rental home by myself after enjoying it with our entire family for weeks (which was weird). And it’s meant I’ve had a lot of amazing introvert time to think.

Being back in Oregon this long—and especially buying our own rental home in Oregon—has stirred up lots of emotions of ends and beginnings and the bizarreness that is life. Oftentimes we need to learn how to let go of things we love or that feel good in order to make room for what Jesus has for us next. It turns out we didn’t need to let go of Oregon, we just needed to let go of our original plans for what we thought we’d do in Oregon.

I recently read a book from Cait Flanders where she said that “Every small change you make pays compound interest. It helps you make another change, another mindset shift, another decision to live a new way.” I love that idea. That’s why the journey tends to matter just as much (if not more) than the destination. If you understand the craziness of compound interest it’s exciting to think of how that shapes future changes we’ll be able to make based on changes we’re making today.